You’re More in Control Than You Think… and Less in Control Than You Know
Have you ever had a moment where something just clicked … and nothing looked quite the same afterward?
That happened to me recently, right in the middle of a journal entry. I found myself staring at two sentences I’d scribbled down quickly, but as soon as I read them back, they stopped me in my tracks.
“You are more in control than you ever thought…
and you have less control than you think.”
A paradox. Two truths that pull in opposite directions. And yet, somehow, they both grounded me in a new kind of peace.
This shift has changed the way I parent, grieve, heal, and help others do the same.
Let me show you how it might shift something in you, too.
You’re More in Control Than You Ever Thought
For years, I carried around a quiet belief:
I don’t finish things.
I’m not consistent.
I’m just not someone who follows through.
It wasn’t something I said out loud. But it was always there …underneath every abandoned goal, every messy attempt at growth.
But then something changed.
I paused long enough to actually challenge that belief.
And when I looked at the facts - not the feelings, not the fears - a different story emerged:
I showed up for my family through illness and uncertainty.
I kept learning and growing, even when it felt invisible.
I didn’t quit on love. Or integrity. Or the people I’m here to serve.
The truth was: I had never quit on the things that mattered most.
The change didn’t come from “hustling harder” — it came from shifting how I thought about myself. That’s where my FOCUS framework came alive:
Facts First – What’s actually true here?
Own Your Thoughts – What am I believing about myself? Is it kind? Is it accurate?
Choose Your Feelings – What emotional state do I want to lead from?
Understand Your Actions – What choices support that emotion?
Shape Your Results – What new reality can I create when I align with truth?
That’s when I stopped seeing myself as a quitter… and started showing up like someone who could trust herself.
And so can you.
You Have Less Control Than You Think
Now for the part that used to feel harder to accept — and in some seasons, still does.
There are things you simply can’t control:
Other people’s choices
The timing of healing
The outcomes you desperately want to go a certain way
When my daughter was navigating cancer, I would’ve given anything to fix it. To speed up the healing. To protect her from pain.
But no amount of love, effort, or hope could force a particular outcome.
What I could do… was stay present.
I could love her through the uncertainty.
I could walk beside her, not ahead of her, trying to fix it, and not behind her, avoiding the pain.
I could hold space without holding control.
And that… was the moment peace began to grow.
Real freedom doesn’t come from controlling everything.
It comes from letting go of what was never yours to carry — and fully owning what is.
Your thoughts.
Your energy.
Your actions.
Your response.
That’s where your true power lives.
A Gentle Prompt for When It Feels Heavy
If something in your life feels overwhelming right now — parenting tension, relationship pain, emotional burnout — try this.
Grab a journal, a piece of paper, or the Notes app on your phone.
Write down one situation that feels heavy.
Then ask yourself:
What is within my control right now?
What is not?
What am I currently believing about this?
Is that belief serving me — or holding me back?
Just the act of reflection creates space.
And in that space… new choices emerge.
Need a Safe Place to Process?
If you're feeling stuck — in your parenting, your healing, or just in life — you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
This is the work I love doing most: helping people like you find clarity, calm, and a new path forward.
🌿 You can book a free 30 minute coaching session with me HERE. Grab yours quickly because I only open 5 spots each week!
We’ll talk. You’ll breathe a little easier. And we’ll discover where your next step begins.
You’re not broken.
You’re not a quitter.
You’ve just been believing a thought that’s ready to change.
And change is already happening.
