Words That Build Love: 3 Communication Shifts Every Couple Needs
Your words are powerful. They can either create distance or deepen connection in your marriage. Most couples don’t struggle because they love each other less. They struggle because their words, tone, or timing create walls instead of bridges.
This week, we’re focusing on Words That Build Love. Practical shifts you can start using today to transform your communication and your connection.
Shift #1: Replace Criticism With Curiosity
It’s easy to point out what’s wrong in a moment of frustration. But criticism builds walls.
Instead:
Ask questions instead of making statements.
Use phrases like: “Help me understand…” or “I noticed X….how do you feel about it?”
Curiosity opens dialogue, encourages understanding, and reduces defensiveness.
Example: Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try “I feel unheard sometimes. Can you help me understand your thoughts on this?”
Shift #2: Speak With Clarity and Kindness
Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
Most arguments aren’t about the topic, they’re about misunderstandings. Clear communication shows respect, prevents resentment, and strengthens trust.
State what you need or feel directly.
Avoid vague hints or expecting your partner to read your mind.
Use “I” statements to own your feelings.
Example: “I feel worried when we don’t discuss our plans for the weekend. Can we set aside 10 minutes to talk?”
Shift #3: Speak Appreciation Daily
Many couples focus on problem-solving and forget gratitude. Appreciation is like oxygen for your relationship. It keeps love alive.
Comment on small acts of kindness.
Acknowledge effort and intention.
Express love verbally every day.
Example: “I really appreciate how you made time to help with the kids today. It means a lot to me.”
Final Thoughts
Communication is a skill, and like any skill, it gets stronger with practice. Start small. Pick one shift this week and notice how your partner responds.
If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, I’ve created a free video: [4 Steps to Better Communication].
It’s simple, actionable, and will help you build the kind of connection you’ve always wanted.
