Parenting Through Anxiety and Depression—With Compassion for You Both
If you’re the parent of a teen or young adult who’s struggling with anxiety or depression, I want you to know this: you are not alone—and neither is your child.
This season can feel incredibly isolating. You may lie awake at night wondering what you’ve missed, what you should say, or if you’re doing enough. You might feel helpless, watching someone you love disappear into sadness, panic, or numbness. And while your heart aches to “fix it,” deep down you know this journey isn’t yours to control.
But you can walk beside them. You can offer support that feels safe, steady, and empowering.
In this post, I’ll share a few simple (but powerful) ways to show up for your teen or young adult in the middle of their mental health struggles—without losing yourself in the process.
Start with Compassion—For You
Before we talk about how to help your child, let’s start with you. Because here’s the truth: parenting through your child’s anxiety or depression is emotionally exhausting. The fear, the helplessness, the daily worry—it’s a lot to carry.
If no one’s told you this lately: you’re doing better than you think. You love your child fiercely. You’re trying. That matters.
So take a deep breath and release any shame or guilt you’ve been holding. There is no perfect way to navigate this. There’s only love, patience, and presence. And those are powerful.
Release the Urge to Fix—Choose Connection Instead
One of the hardest parts of parenting a struggling child is watching them suffer. Your instincts might scream, “Do something!”—offer solutions, give advice, or tell them to just get up and move forward.
But what your child likely needs most… is not answers. It’s presence.
Anxiety and depression can make your teen feel broken, overwhelmed, or “behind” in life. In one of her recent podcast episodes, Mel Robbins reminds us of something so simple, but deeply healing:
“You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be to learn what you need to learn next.”
Let that sink in—for you and for your child. When you release the pressure to fix or push them forward, you create space for safety and trust to grow.
What to Say (and Not Say)
If you’re unsure how to talk to your child during these tough moments, you’re not alone. Here are a few phrases that communicate support and safety:
Try Saying:
“I’m here if you want to talk. No pressure.”
“You don’t have to figure it all out today.”
“That sounds really hard. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
Avoid Saying:
“You’re just being dramatic.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“You should be grateful.”
Even if your intentions are good, certain phrases can feel dismissive or invalidating. The goal is to help them feel seen and heard, not judged or rushed.
Be Patient—Healing is Not Linear
This part is crucial—and often the most difficult.
Healing from anxiety and depression doesn’t follow a straight line. There will be good days where your child seems more like themselves… and then suddenly, a bad day, or even a string of bad days. That backslide can be discouraging, but it doesn’t mean they’re not healing.
It simply means they’re human.
Progress often looks messy. Your job isn’t to measure it—it’s to keep showing up with love, especially on the days it feels like nothing’s working.
Every time you choose to stay calm, to listen, to sit in the silence instead of rushing to fill it—you’re reminding them:
“You don’t have to be ‘better’ to be loved. You are worthy right now, as you are.”
Take Care of Yourself, Too
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Supporting someone with mental health struggles takes a toll—emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
It’s okay to need support. It’s okay to feel exhausted. It’s okay to set boundaries that help you stay grounded and healthy.
Reach out to friends. Join a support group. Work with a coach or counselor if you need one. The stronger and more supported you feel, the more capacity you’ll have to be present for your child—without burning out.
You’re Doing More Than You Know
If you’ve read this far, it’s because you care deeply. And that care, that intention, that steady presence—it matters more than you’ll ever know.
Your teen or young adult may not say it. They may even push you away. But your love? It gets in.
It tells them:
“You’re not alone.”
“You’re not broken.”
“You’re still lovable, even on the hard days.”
And that message might be the most healing thing of all.
Want More Support?
If this post resonated with you, I invite you to check out a recent episode of The FOCUS Podcast with Taralee, where I go even deeper into how to support your child’s mental health with grace and connection—without losing your own peace in the process.
You are not alone. You are doing sacred work. And I’m cheering you on.
With love,
Taralee
